A Trip To The Candy Store

Most women love to shop!  We particularly LOVE to shop when an item is on SALE!  All husbands give their wives grief about their shopping too.  Wives, please, take a moment to remind your husband that they, too, LOVE to shop especially during sales.  It is just a different kind of shopping.  The difference between a man and a woman’s shopping episode is that a man's shopping episode doesn’t involve buying 20 towels for the family bathroom or an extra pair of sheets for the guest bedroom to help keep the laundry at a minimum.  Men will shop sales for items they are passionate about such as hunting clothing, hunting gear, and/or hunting toys & gadgets. 

Recently, we were up and out of the house by 6:00 A.M….good grief, Santa hadn’t even come the night before!  Okay, so this doesn’t sound too early.  For those who also have two girls, one teenager and one pre-teenager, living with them, leaving at 6 A.M. really means that we were up at 4:00 o’my gosh this is too friggin’ early for a measly 100 mile trip to attend the glorious door-buster event sale at...aww-AWWW-AWWWWW….C A B E L A' S!!

As I sat in our car in the Cabela’s parking lot waiting for the doors to open, I couldn’t help but think that I should start an intervention/counseling session for Hunters Shoppers Anonymous (HSA).  I saw no difference between the day after Thanksgiving sales and the Cabela’s, Saturday, door-buster sale.  Here’s the visual:  Lines begin to form as the clock ticks closer to the 9:00 A.M., Cabela’s, Saturday, door-buster sale (After this Blog, I am pretty sure Cabela’s owes The Hunter’s Wife some advertising monies-J)!  Men are elbowing each other and cutting line just to be the first to get to the “rare” items that does very little to completely stock the shelves.  While my husband sits in our vehicle, he is fidgeting with excitement as if it were the day after Thanksgiving and he is about to ask Santa for the new Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock and “this thing which tells time” (a sundial) he has always wanted.  All we are missing in this picture is Jean Sheperd narrating; the infamous leg lamp covered with sexy hosiery that came in the fragile box; and the teacher dressed as a witch & the mom dressed as a jester both pointing and saying in a harmonious tune, “You’ll shoot your eye out!”

^(1),(2)

       

Five minutes to opening, we decide to join the others at the front door in the 120 mph winds that are blowing so my husband can load up on ammo and other thrilling door buster sales.  Possessing a welcoming smile, a sales woman comes out to greet the shoppers.  One guy with anticipation in his voice asks the sales woman, “Are the doors about to open?”  After asking his question, I swear, I observed this gentleman get down in the runner’s starting position for “the race.”  Hearing this question, all I can do to hold in my laughter from the fictional scene created in my mind is to suggest to my husband that the girls and I are dead weight and he should proceed to where he MUST go by himself.  We would meet up somewhere around the Bargain Cave because that is where I like to shop. 

Finally, The CHUTES open!  All the men scatter like little kids in their favorite candy shop searching for their golden tickets!  Wives-the next time your husband gives you grief about sale shopping, please, remind him that the Hunters Shoppers Anonymous (aka HSA) will be meeting every Thursday night from 7-9 at the local community center; first names ONLY.

(1):  courtesy of http://www.amazon.com/Christmas-Story-Full-Size-Lamp/dp/B003TMAR9K/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1331742650&sr=8-3

(2): courtesy of http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085334/