Mount & Balance

            My husband and I both grew-up on the Western side of Wyoming.  It was later in our lives that we migrated to the Eastern side.  One wouldn’t think that a State with so little population and large mass would make such a difference with which section of the state a person decides to be a residence of.  However, if you are a hunter there is a HUGE difference between Western and Eastern Wyoming. 

For one the Eastern side is completely privatized, which means a person cannot go out to the prairie and shoot gophers for target practice.  There is no place to go without spotting signs that call out in bold letters, “PRIVATE PROPERTY! NO TRESPASSING!”  In order to shoot your gun or bow, one must join a club.  For a few of the clubs, it takes up to a three years just to get your name to the top of the wait-list.  However, once a member, a person still cannot shoot the gophers around the gun or archery clubs those sorts of actions are not allowed.  There are rules that each member must follow in order to continue to be members.  As a result and probably comes as no surprise, my husband is a member of both the local archery club and the local gun club.  Our membership allows us as a family to practice shooting in one form or another to prepare for our hunting season. 

Living in the city limits, we are fortunate to have a decent size yard.  The best part is that we have amazing neighbors especially the elderly couple adjacent to us.  Thank God; they raised three (3) boys!!  I am positive that the elderly couple gets a kick out of my husband and his antics.  For example, prior to becoming members of the local archery club, my husband began familiarizing with the sport in our backyard by shooting at short distances and gradually building to “longer” distances.  The distance increase would consist of standing in one corner of the yard while shooting to the diagonal corner.  Then he would measure his distances that he successfully shot with his field range.  I’d like to say he added the full effect by dressing up in his camo attire and camo make-up but people might say I am embellishing after reading this blog.

This particular Sunday, ironically, began with no wind, which is highly unusual for this Eastern city of Wyoming.  Because there was little wind, my husband decides that he is going to go practice archery in the back yard.  He lets our dogs in the house so they don’t get in the way while he practices.  It doesn’t take long for him to come back into the house to tell me that he has lost his arrow.  Panic?  Have you read my other blogs! 

The entire family piles into the truck.  We all roll down our windows so we can evaluate the area.  We don’t want to arouse any of the neighbors suspicion, so we perform a drive-by, “gangster style,” (also known as the slow creep in a vehicle, shades over our eyes, minus blaring music) to see if we can spot the arrow.  We drive down two blocks on one side of the road and then repeat the same actions on the other side.  For such a short couple of blocks, we looked for that arrow for many hours into the afternoon.  Though, not all of our searching was performed in the vehicle.  We even managed to incognito our efforts by taking the dogs for a “stroll.”

          Finally, after hours of searching, Jim spots the arrow in our neighbors'…well, have you ever had to knock on your neighbors’ door to tell them you took care of their ferocious, man-eating…16.5” CAMPER TIRE?  I can only imagine our elderly neighbors’ face as Jim explains to them what had happened: 

“Hi, Barb and Steve!”  Jim says as they  open their door, “So, um, I was practicing shooting my bow…you know, like you have observed me do in previous days,” Jim explains as he shuffles from one foot to the other and pointing to the side of their house, “…I sort of killed your tire on your camper and I need to replace it.  I’d ask you not to tell my wife, but she is outside waiting for me in the truck.” 

The fun doesn’t stop there either.  The following day the implausible story is told to co-workers.  One, who points out, most people get their first bow kill mounted; Jim got his mounted AND balanced! 

Though, the thought of a 16.5” tire hanging over the fireplace and the infamous arrow above the beautiful petroleum kill in addition to a picture to capture the event had crossed my mind.  The thought of it being balanced did not.  It would have hung so entirely true!  LOL Logically thinking about this kill, $263.00 plus a few bucks for diesel to and from the tire station is the CHEAPEST successful hunt the Mlinar Clan has EVER had.