"Gear"

When a person has a passion, the passion usually requires necessary gear in order to be an active participant.  For this reason, I have concluded that the World of Hunting needs some assistance with developing appropriate gear for vertically challenged people.  Here are a few items I have discovered to be inadequate when shared between people blessed with height and people envy of the lack of it.

Recently, my husband purchased me some gators also named by our oldest daughter as circulatory enhancers.   For an individual like my husband, who is over 6 feet tall, the gators actually fit like circulatory enhancers because they lay around his ankle covering his boots and end mid-calf.  However, for a vertically challenged individual like me, the gators fit like long pant legs, beginning at my thigh-hip area and extending to my boots covering them.  The gators in the Fashion World could be referred to as half- body gators!

I tend to be a half-glass filled observer as a glass over-flowing with opportunity.  Needless to say, while out hunting, I was wearing my body gators that Jimmy bought me, which was a complete blessing in disguise.  As my boots entered into a day old fallen snow the snow would freely become airborne and fly up into my face.  This would not have been so bad but add in the airborne snow that is also generated by my husband, who was walking in front of me; it develops into a blizzard effect.  By the time we got to an area we could sit and watch my buck chasing his doe, I literally was whipping my entire face off as if I had just washed my face.  I am positive I impersonated Audrey in Christmas Vacation with her eyes frozen shut…umm, open!  When I finally was able to see, I noticed not the buck chasing his doe but my Jimmy dry as can be…fricking vertical challenges!

All I need to say about the next “gear” is shooting sticks.  Hikers:  No need to purchase hiking sticks, shooting sticks can be used for both up-hill and down-hill usage.  These things are great for multipurpose use when suffering from vertical challenge.  Think of all the money I have saved you by pointing this out! 

Other usage for this “gear” is “accidental” hitting sticks.  “Accidental” hitting sticks can only be utilized while an individual is walking behind you and if you are taller than them.   Otherwise, the “accidental” sticks are really just “tickle” sticks.  In either case, B-E-W-A-R-E, for if the individual behind you is not in a pleasant mood due to various circumstances such as hit in the nose and the eye by the sticks the individual walking in front of you is carrying, the shooting sticks suddenly become Light-Sabers!  You can kiss all quiet stalking tactics good-bye.

Thankfully, the multipurpose “gear” can be modified for various leg-heights.  That is an added bonus.  Though, it becomes even more adventurous when sitting on the side of a hill for hours overlooking the intended target below while patiently waiting for an open shot, yet, continually changing angles and positions.    Then, it is highly recommended to re-adjust the shooting stick leg- heights.  Otherwise, if the individual adjusting them for you has a 3 foot advantage, instead of the current buck hunting season you are participating in changes in a split second to duck hunting season! 

Regardless of suffering from vertical challenges, there is one piece of hunting “gear” that I have, that no other person has.   It is the only piece of equipment that I have that fits me perfectly.   I can take it with me hunting in extremely cold weather and it will keep me warm.   No, I will not share for it’s my best kept hunting gear secret.  I only share bits and pieces of it with you all.  My “gear” you all know as Jimmy, my husband! 

November 2015 The Hunter’s Wife and My BEST piece of Hunting “Gear”

In November, my hunting “gear” and I sat alongside one another on the side of a hill, patiently waiting for a buck I wanted.  Most other hunting “gears” may consider leaving after the first hour, especially when the buck decides to bed down.  Once bedding occurs, who knows how long you will be sitting there.  For me as you are all quite aware of, sitting in one spot for any length of time over a half a second is excessively challenging due to my child-like attention span.  But when my best hunting “gear” and I are together sitting for any length of time, patiently waiting, it feels like seconds.

For one, it comes natural for me to poke fun at my best piece of hunting “gear.”  He sweetly attempts to document my hunt capturing the following picture to illustrate not only the distance but the scenery we are focusing on:

He is RIGHT there!

My best hunting “gear” remarks “He’s RIGHT there!”  In which my instant sarcasm surfaces “You just know he is down there taking the same exact snap-shot of us saying, “They’re sitting, sliding the side of that ridge RIGHT there!””  HAHAA…This is only a few of the quiet laughter we share. 

Thank you to my secret Hunting “Gear” for assisting me with my harvest!

No World of Hunting; there will be no sharing the only piece of PERFECT Hunting “Gear” that this vertically challenged individual possess.  Continue to develop your Hunting “Gear” and if you’d like a vertically challenged individual to test it for you, I can be contacted at the Hunter’s Wife’s Blogspot:  http://ahunterswifesblog.blogspot.com

I look forward to hearing from you...

Small Obstacles Big Hurdles

The act of hiking allows an individual to enjoy amazing scenery that is unattainable by driving on back-roads.  Don’t get me wrong, driving on back-roads can satisfy the tantalizing craving created by part-taking in life’s daily monotony.  Though, unattainable scenery is breath-taking and it does not come without a price.  Hiking a straight up vertical to assist my hubby with retrieving Larry’s elk head from last year’s season, I begin to morph into Wile E. Coyote.  With all fours clasping onto the tree trunk I was attempting to climb over, I notice that Mother Nature humorously placed not just this one trunk to climb over BUT she placed them ALL over the side of the mountain at various angles and at various pile sizes!  I slowly crawl across the slope as my husband gingerly skips from one tree-trunk pile to the next.  It is at this point that I realize this has been the first time that I have crawled sober!  Mark another one off of my bucket list.

Half way up the straight up vertical, we find Larry’s elk.  What a beauty!

Larry's harvest last fall!  Too darn steep to bring the head with the body.

Before heading back down, we paused to take in the beautiful country that appears at the tip of our noses, literally.  The smell of freshness is absolutely amazing.  I determine that it is definitely the combination of the scenery and the sound of the rushing river at the bottom of the canyon that is icing on the cake. 

Soaking in the beauty AND resting

After many minutes of rest, we decide to head back to the other side of the canyon so we can join the girls and Soda, who were unable to continue the climb after crossing the river below.  One step; or should I say one WRONG step and descending from the climb becomes a rapid butt-ride on dirt with a mother-nature-enema!

I’d like to say that was the best part of the trip!  But, who am I kidding; our girls are some of the most comical young adults we know.  Joining the girls and Soda, our youngest asks if there are cinnamon bears.  Jimmy sadly informs her that he didn’t pack any.  Usually both Jimmy and our “little Jimmy” (youngest daughter) have the same ideas/thoughts, but with a befuddled look on her face, she looks at me to assist her for clarity in his response to her question.  Uncontrollably giggling, I inform him that she isn’t asking for cinnamon bears-the candy, but if there is cinnamon bears-the color in the area.  Oh there is more…our oldest!

In the fall, our oldest will begin the next step of her future to enter the medical world to seek a career as a neurologist.  As we were preparing the morning of the 5 mile hike with a stretch of obstacle courses, we dressed in our hiking attire.  Jimmy and I were sitting on the couch in our camper putting on our hiking boots.  Jimmy asks me to hand him the gaiters.  Our oldest is quite intrigued by the attire Jimmy puts on, points to the items, and asks him, “Are those circulatory enhancers?”  Jimmy and I quietly look at each other and then look down at his boots.  I inform her they are gaiters.  Our youngest joins the conversation with, “We don’t have gators in Wyoming!”

Wyoming Gaiters! They really do exist! 

Crossing the river and making our ascent onto the other side of the mountain, we are able to return to our original hiking destination and towards the area where our truck has been parked for a number of hours.  Of course as we walk back to our truck, I begin to notice how Jimmy and Madison do not have to climb over many of the tree trunks, if any at all, like Bailey and I.  It is like an episode from the classic, Laff-A-Lympics with commentator Snaggle Puss stating, " Welcome to Laff-A-Lympics with The Scooby Doobies and The Really Rottens gather on the field.  Exit stage left!"  <Boing>

Laff-A-Lympics-small obstacles big hurdles

The Scooby Doobies (our oldest and I) vs. The Really Rottens (our youngest and Jimmy) are all at the starting line… you know The Really Rottens cheat.  Otherwise, they would also have to hug on the fallen tree trunks while scooting across them rather than skipping leisurely from one to the next like one of Mother-Nature’s, Northeastern or Southeastern flying squirrels.  Only in The Really Rottens' case, the first, observation, potentially non-existent of its kind in the Rocky Mountains; sort of like the Sasquatch!

Northeastern or Southeaster Flying Squirrel

          Larry’s pretty lucky, retrieving his harvest skull from last year cost him one Happy Hour-Soda, Coke, from Sonic!  I am never going to tell him that we, meaning me, would have done it for nothing more than the Mlinars’ gain of another long-lasting family memory; interesting discussions that could solve our world’s problems; observations of wildlife; insurmountable wild foliage; beautiful scenery; as well as the free Mother-Nature’s enema!

This is NOT a Moose Hunt-It’s Practice!

          It has been a few months since my last blog.  It is because I have been angelically behaving myself.  Should you be laughing, I so had a hard time typing that sentence with a straight face!  BUT, I have been denying you all with a read describing my first ever hunting experience in the fall of 2014!  First, I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed the experience.  I am uncertain if it is because I got to spend so much alone-time with my bestest (it’s an industry term) friend in the whole-wide world OR because we laughed so much; perhaps, a mixture of both.

One of the early mornings out, we arrived to an area we used for scanning for white-tails.  As we patiently waited for the sun to peek over the horizon, Jim tended to his hunting forums on his cell phone while I settled down for a quick morning investigation of my eye-lids.  Apparently, Mother-Nature decided she would see what kind of hunter I would become and what kind of weather I could tolerate for my first time ever hunting adventure.  I think she was hoping to break me early by throwing out a variety of weather obstacles.  Within seconds of parking, the radio reported, “Wind speeds are to reach 100 + miles an hour.”  Pffttt-wind!  Is that all you got Mother-Nature?  With this being reported, we basically woke-up to take our truck for a ride, allowing it to test out the supply of energy we recently supplied him with!  Dratz!

Next, Mother-Nature decided she would put down some of the most gorgeous, freshest, yet crunchiest snow to assist me with quietly stalking my potential harvest not just one day but multiple mornings and/or late afternoons.  Pfftt-snow!  I am NOT afraid to dress in multiple layers of clothing, to think warm thoughts, and/or to turn up the heater in the vehicle.  This woman grew-up in a place referred to as, “The Ice Box 0f the Nation” (This is a factual industry term; I highly advise you to Google it).    

During my first time hunting experience, I learned a lot.  Such as, snow despite it being fresh, or gorgeous, or crunchy that crap is slippery especially when climbing, straight-up-vertical!  Luckily for me, my hero was behind me and was able to stop me, with rifle in hand, from falling to my death.  AND as a double-bonus, my sailor comments were kept to a minimum-UGH!!

Additional learning solidified the idea that I have a Kindergartner mind!  My attention span is overly sharpened ONLY and I repeat ONLY when there is white-tail spotting.  Otherwise, I am contemplating in my head a variety of scenarios that potentially could occur when having in my possession some duct tape, a gum wrapper (metal kind of course), string, and a paper clip…McGuyver has NOTHING on me when it comes to ingenuity! 

Last in-depth learning I experienced, I should never double-dog-dare my hunting partner with shooting the occasional predator like a raccoon.  Then, additionally encourage him to take it home so we can boil the skull, keeping it as a show-and-tell item!  Though, the results of it are so freaking cool:
  

Double-dog-dare!

The finished product!

  Although, I didn't get the biggest of the herd, I definitely had THE BEST TIME:  laughing, double-dog-daring, and enjoying being outside with my husband and occasionally with our girls.

Show-off!

King of the hills!

Who's is Who's?!?