Good Idea

Since this is my first season of hunting, I have come across a few helpful tips of it might have been a good idea in my head but didn’t sound quite as impressive to my husband out-loud or after being performed:  The following is a written reminder for any beginning hunter:

1.     As you’re getting into gear, DON’T ask your husband, “Why do these pants make me look like Steve Urkle?”

2.     While driving to your destination, roughly 10 minutes to arrival, DON’T ask your husband, “Where’s my Hunter’s Safety card?” and for certain DON’T ask, “Have you seen my hunting license?”

3.     Apparently, white-tail deer have amazing hearing and can hear an individual singing, especially whisper-singing, while sitting in the cab of the truck.  I’m rather positive this was a ploy Jimmie and the girls contrived to get me to stop singing.  Seriously, who doesn’t LOVE the adorable Shirley Temple and her 1930’s movie Captain January good morning song of “Early Bird?”  OH, I have discovered at least three (3) people!

                                            http://youtu.be/f2rKPt0alxo

4.     DON’T start giggling as your imagination wanders to you creeping similarly to James P. Sullivan from Disney’s, Monster’s University, while following, quietly, one-very-slow-step behind Mike Wazouski (aka Jimmie) attempting NOT to disturb others or to make any noise to make the librarian angry and throw you out through the ceiling.

5.     Additionally, as you play follow-the-leader, rock hunting is NOT allowed because Jimmie DIDN’T provide you with your very own backpack like he did while putting up trail cameras.   It is as if he gained knowledge from a previous outting(s) when you  mysteriously "lost" all of the gear in the bag you were allowed to carry.

6.     A $1500 pair of binoculars is more effective for spotting bucks in the wee hours of the sun-isn’t-even-up-yet mornings than a $50 pair of binoculars are. 

a.     Though, all the nagging did result into a new pair.  It’s not a good idea to mention how you can see for miles, commenting, “oh look, the girls are up at the house,” which is at least if not more than 50 miles away!  By-the-way, thank you Jimmie for the upgraded pair J

b.     Once you are able to see through your new pair of binos, it is an important note to recall that objects appear closer than they are.  MUCH closer!! 

7.     Take a brown paper sack with you so that if you happen to miss the first shot at 300 yards with him running , you can throw your tantrum into the sack and save it for later which includes all loud-sailor slurs.

a.     A shorter distance shot, weeks later, for a first hunt is much better and helps to reduce any temper-tantrums from developing.

8.     Stalking in a ditch, stopping periodically to peek out above for a quick observation, does NOT require YOU to kneel especially when your husband is looking you eye-to-eye as HE is kneeling!

9.     BEAVERS-they are even mean when deer hunting!  Throwing their tails in the water, scaring the crap out of you as you are focusing on stalking, I mean glassing, the side of the hill.

10.    While acting co-pilot, a comment of, “James-onward!”  Is not necessarily funny to the other person (in my case, Jimmie) as it is to you;

11.   Wind at a speed of 25 mph+ dropping actual temperatures below nipple-freezing makes taking 2 steps out-side of the truck a bad idea.

12.    Always keep in mind that a younger hunter is watching every move you make and will inform Daddy of the observation while you are not present.

13.    Mixed type of fences such as Barb-wire on-top and chicken wire on-bottom & throw in a few poles are evil obstacles for short people.  Ranchers, Farmers, and the BLM randomly place them EVERYWHERE! 

14.      Cows are horrible hide-and-seek partners!

15.     A successful hunting observation does not require a comment of, “look I scared the crap outta him!”

Although it was my first season, the harvest was a mild bonus compared to the time I was able to spend with my hubby.  SO looking forward to more of it with the expectation of expanding my “Good Idea” list each year!