Born to Hunt-FORCED to Work

While at work for the many months prior to opening day, I foresee my husband carefully allocate days/perhaps weeks/hoping & praying for months to be taken for HIS hunting season. I predict him acting a lot like our younger daughter after indulging a piece of chocolate she can’t handle. After consumption, I imagine Jimmie sitting in a fetal position, rocking to and fro, feeling as though he’s in a well-padded white box wrapped in a very tight white jacket, twitching and wanting to climb walls and/or hang from the ceiling! Possibly appearing like this:

Note to reader:  Possible Side Effects of a Mlinar’s Consumption of Chocolate; direct effects of Mlinar’s Born to Hunt-Forced to Work Syndrome

           Therefore, as an unlicensed psychiatrist, I am diagnosing my husband with the disease of Born to Hunt-FORCED to Work Syndrome, which can only be distorted by participating in the physical and the mental behaviors for pre-hunting/hunting/ post-hunting activities. These activities to include but not limited to archery & hunting forums; observations from informational websites such as You-Tube & Facebook; and constant email(s) for every week(s) advertisements from any of the following stores: Gander Mountain, Cabela’s, Eastman’s, Sportsman Warehouse, and/or Bass Pro!

All activities participated in has played an intricate part in misrepresenting the Syndrome’s symptoms through horn-porn and stock-trading as well as introducing other excuses for any of the following family activities:

          •fondling guns and/or bows

•shooting the newly made ammo using the new supplies

purchased which THEN leads to our house smelling as a high-class

brothel due to the odor of Hoppe’s gun cleaning solvent

•let’s not forget any other hunting gadget(s) which requires testing

 by the Epicenter of Stupidity AND then reporting the discoveries 

I’d like to report curving of the disorder’s side-effects has only affected the Mlinar Clan, but there have been instances when “Barney,” my husband’s devotional hunting/stock-trading/horn-porn watching, buddy has joined us. During one of Jimmie’s symptoms, “Barney” graciously helped Jimmie and our daughter to load her beautiful successful hunt and get it back to town for processing:

The First Hunt with Daddy:  WOHOO!

I wish I could have been there but I hear the over-whelming experience led to one exultant young lady, who now also possesses symptoms of the Mlinar Disease.

P.S. When our youngest begins to possess symptoms of the Mlinar Disease (again refer to first picture above), I am purchasing additional insurance whether it is vehicle/over-the-road vehicle (further explained in future blog, What Happens at Hunting Camp Stays at Hunting Camp), house, medical, and anything else to counter-act the outcome!